“My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.”
- Indira Gandhi
Ah, Labour Day weekend. For some the last moment of peace and serenity before school starts up again, for others summer’s last gasp, for still others another long weekend like any other.
The day itself was intended as a both a demonstration for and a celebration of trade unions dating back about 140 years, the kinds of unions that lobbied the government for labour standards that established ideas like strikes and the 8-hour workday. Figure without this sort of movement in our history, you could be working 12-hour shifts at McDonalds for 25 cents an hour and no breaks.
… well… sorta. You get the picture.
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Speaking of work, ALDA (Adult Learning Development Association) is running their YouthPrep program again this year. This is an employability program for at-risk youth, 15-30, who are out of school and have a suspected or diagnosed learning disability. It’s a 24-week (!!) program, you’ll be paid minimum wage, and includes multiple work placements so that you can get the chance to try out different settings and learn a variety of skills. Click here for the flyer.
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Finally, if you’d like to come out and show your support, World Suicide Prevention Dayis next week, Friday September 10th. We’ll be just one of the organizations hanging out at the Vancouver Art Gallery downtown from 11:45am til 1pm (near the Georgia St. entrance) and the event will feature speakers, music, drumming, a candle lighting ceremony and a minute of silence. We’re collecting shoes while we’re there, a pair in memory of every loved one lost to suicide. If you can, bring a pair with you, preferably in decent condition as all the shoes we collect will go to Lookout Emergency Aid Society after the event, and find a worthwhile home on the feet of someone who needs them..
Click here for the flyer, or here to follow the event on Facebook.
“When kids hit 1 year old, it’s like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.”
- Johnny Depp
Just about a year ago now, we decided to bring this blog back to life. 52 weeks and 49 entries later, we’ve managed to talk about something for almost very week since then. Some of it has been pretty light reading but it has occasionally challenged us to stay current, update our content (some of which still needs updating!) and even pushed us to write about topics we would happily have glossed over. Rather than sit around and pat ourselves on the back, though, I thought it would be better to look forward and share with you some of the projects we’ve had in mind for the next year.
The biggest change will probably involve the Self-Help section, which has gone a little stagnant. The workhorse of the section, Stress Management, has a much more updated version (that follows in line with the workshops our Community Education team does) in the learning section here; it’s a little out of date. Goal Setting is great, but all the other sections are still permanently “under construction” and have been for some time. I’m thinking it might be time to put a fork in the entire section and just bundle it all together under Learn More. Instead, we’ve been considering widening the Quizzes, though it’s possible we’ll just can the whole thing as well.
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Within the Learning section, both the Bullying and Drugs, Alcohol & Addictions sections are overdue for an update. If you go to Bullying’s front page, you’ll notice we’ve done a series in this blog on the subject, so you’ll already have a preview of what we were planning. For Drugs & Alcohol, it might be a bit more complicated than that, but it’s just gotta be done. We’d also like to improve the Suicide section (which is awfully small) and Disordered Eating (which needs modernizing).
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One pet project I’d like to get rolling before the end of the year is to get more volunteer profiles up on the site. Who you’ll talk to is such a crap shoot; Each volunteer may only be answering chats for a few hours in any given month so it’s not so much about knowing who you’ll talk to… it’s more about getting a sense of the kinds of people who are on the other side of the screen. Some of these profiles are from over a year ago, but it’s actually one of the most popular sections of the site and so I figure it’s worth giving people more of what they like!
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Also, if you have an opinion on the idea of mini flash games for the site (either for when you’re waiting for a chat or because you could use a short distraction), please vote on the current poll. I’m really curious to hear what people think, so you can also comment on this post. The idea would be to create a gallery of games, all really short (say, 5-10 minutes max) so that you don’t get too caught up in them… no gratuitous violence, but not necessarily learning-oriented or bland.
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Thanks to everyone who’s help kick the site in the ass over the past year, either through their suggestions or criticisms, their ideas for blog posts and resources for our database, even their encouragement which means a lot to us too. Here’s to another year of improvement!
“You always seem to find the sun
But this time, the sun is a fire
Bring down the rain
This house is burning again
Put out the flame
Bring down the rain”
- Bring Down the Rain, by DIO
We have our pick of natural disasters to talk about this week, especially with the devastating flooding in Pakistan. Thousands are feared dead, and millions are homeless in what they’re calling the worst flood ever. Relief efforts are pouring in from all over the world and we should take a minute to think of them, though for this week’s entry, we’ll hit a little closer to home.
Update: The Canadian government has pledged $33 million in aid to Pakistan and will (like with the earthquake in Haiti) match donations made by Canadians dollar-for-dollar until Sept. 12th. (details here)
While it may not seem like it’s been hot for long, British Columbia has been suffering through a record heat wave (much like the rest of the continent, actually), one result of which has been dozens of wildfires throughout the province. While the fires have been largely in the Interior or up north, Vancouver Island experienced its share as well, and even if you didn’t have your own fire nearby, smoke from the fires has affected visibility throughout the province and beyond.
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source: nationalpost.com
First things first: If you haven’t already checked, it might be worthwhile keep up to date on the fires that may be nearby, as well as air quality, smoke and traffic advisories in your region. The provincial government has set up a side for all these alerts, current conditions, as well as you steps you can take to be more prepared on this site: www.bcforestfireinfo.gov.bc.ca.
For all those of you who have had to evacuate your homes, our thoughts are with you. For those who are on alert, we’re crossing our fingers that things will get under control soon. And as usual, if you need someone to talk to, you can chat with a volunteer from noon til 1am every day, or 24/7 on our Distress Line: 1-866-661-3311.
So in two weeks, it’ll have been one year since we performed a little CPR on the blog and brought it back to life. Back then, pretty much the only thing on it was this post with “A few good quotes…” In commemoration of that post, we went back and collected some of the great quotes we’ve opened posts with over the past year. Enjoy! .
“Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.” - George Carlin
“Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance.” - Samuel Johnson
“No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.” - Edmund Burke
He who has health has hope; He who has hope has everything. - Arab proverb
“The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice.” - Mary Ann Evans
“I aspire to try to be a teacher to my young fans who feel just like I felt when I was younger… I just felt like a freak. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I want to liberate them; I want to free them of their fear and make them feel that they can create their own space in the world.” - Lady Gaga
A danger forseen is half-avoided. - Cheyenne Proverb
“When young people decide to take action they can make what’s seemingly impossible, possible.”- Zach de la Rocha
“As long as the mind is enslaved, the body can never be free.” - Martin Luther King Jr.
“Kids got bullied, picked on and teased
But somehow we found our place in the scheme of things
And time heals everything, almost everything
When I look back on the things I’ve done
Some good, some bad, and I’m really sorry if I hurt anyone
Yeah, I’m really sorry if I hurt anyone.”
It’s been 5 weeks, but we’re back to talk about bullying… and being the suckers for punishment that we are, we promised an entry on the fairly complicated topic of cyber-bullying for this time.
Cyber-bullying refers to the use of the email, instant messaging, cell phones or other internet or digital media to send messages, images, video with the intention of hurting or embarrassing their target. This could be:
— Threatening messages (”Ima kick your ass at school tomorrow”)
— Joining an online game and playing in a way whose sole purpose is ruining the target’s fun (griefing)
— Creating insulting, sexual, fabricated or abusive web sites, Facebook groups or similar material
— Posting embarrassing or digitally altered video, images, rumours, either on forums, Myspace pages or other public sites
— Sending a ton of (usually insulting or threatening) messages by text, email or IM (spamming or flooding)
image courtesy of Penny Arcade
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Part of what makes cyber-bullying complicated is that it’s simply a different world than a classroom or even the street. For one, people can remain largely anonymous. This can make it really hard to tell how many different people are actually doing it; Those five different commenters on your Myspace page may be the same person posting on five different accounts. It also makes it easier to hide and avoid consequences.
For two, the internet is largely unsupervised. In schools, there are authority figures (teachers, principals) that may be able to see to it that the bullying stops. In the outside world, the police can step in to handle harassment, threats and assaults. On-line, not all sites have admins that will step in, and certainly there’s no global “Cyber Police” that would be able to handle abuse that would cross over from one site to another.
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Ah but the internet allows you a few things that are hard to do in person: Some web sites, email accounts and IM services will give you the ability to block or filter messages or posts from specific users, from all anonymous users or from users not on your friends list. Unlike the real world, it’s fairly easy to change your ID, nickname, profile or username on-line; If you can’t change the name, it’s possible to open a new account and start fresh. Don’t forget to check the other articles we’ve written on bullying for tips that might apply to cyber-bullying as well!
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We’re not all internet security experts here on YIBC, but if you’d like to be able to talk out what you’re going through with one of our volunteers, check the top-left corner for the CHAT NOW button, every day between noon and 1pm Pacific time.
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Links:
Beatbullying.org, based in the UK, runs a program called CyberMentors. They have a site with tons of information on cyberbullying, as well as a live chat. They also have a YouTube channel.
The BBC (also in the UK) has carved out a space on their site for a show called Bullyproof, which might be worth a look. It features a lot of contributions from celebrities from across the pond.
Read EVERYBODY PANIC, our short blog entry on internet safety
I messed up my entire life because I got high
I lost my kids and wife because I got high say
Now I’m sleepin’ on the side walk and I know why
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high
- Because I Got High, by Afroman
It’s true, we get more than the occasional wake-up call from the emails we get and from the chats people have with volunteers. And it’s true, sometimes it’s brought to our attention that some of our material could use an update. The Drugs & Alcohollearning section is one example… And to be fair, it’s hard to know what to write on the subject.
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One on hand, you have folks like the Government of Canada’s National Anti-Drug Strategy, and Health Canada’s attempts to reach kids using sites like Not4Me and The Canadian Centre on Substance Abuse’s very similar (though flashier) Xperiment.ca. Truth be told, the current content of our site isn’t too far off this, basically saying this is why you shouldn’t do “drug X”. It all has the potential to be informative (”Holy crap, I didn’t know I could get dry mouth from MDMA! It’s so not for me!“) but I suspect many people know that drugs can be bad for you. And much like with education around smoking, it’s sometimes hard to take the side effects listed on these sites at face value, even if they are true in theory.
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On the other hand, you have organizations like VANDU (Vancouver Area Network of Drug Users), Insite (the safe injection site in the Downtown Eastside) and YouthCO AIDS Society, who contend that what we should be focusing on is the fact that drug users are marginalized, criminalized, stigmatized and denied proper health care. The focus of these harm reduction organizations is usually around creating support for people involved in intravenous drug use or related health issues like Hepatitis C or HIV. The more mainstream criticism of harm reduction is that it does nothing to keep people from using, and may even encourage them.
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It’s not an easy decision and, even once the decision is made, it’s not easy to know what we should put up on the site. By the time the update is done, we’ll probably end up with a lot of both sides of the story, since our basic philosophy features a lot of harm reduction, but people still often want to know “what drugs do”. But we’ll be working on it so be patient with us… we’re working very hard to try to suck less. ^_^
And if you’re curious where the title of this week’s entry comes from, it’s from this fairly popular public service announcement from the 80’s:
“You know, I wish that I wasn’t seen differently. I wish that people looked at me and just saw that I was a good person with a good heart. And that wants to make people laugh. And that’s who I am. I also happen to be gay. And I would love to have the same rights as everybody else.”
- Ellen Degeneres
Earlier this year, a teenager from Mississippi named Constance McMillen was barred from attending her high school prom with her girlfriend, and made headlines shortly after when the ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union) filed a lawsuit against the school on her behalf after they canceled the prom. This week, the lawsuit was settled: The school district will pay her $35,000 and put in place an official policy saying it will not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity in any of its activities. That policy was a first of its kind in the entire state.
Meanwhile, a thousand miles away in Hudson, New York, Hudson High School crowned two gay best friends as their prom ‘king and queen’, voted so by their peers and classmates. While they said that not everyone in their school was so supportive, I’m guessing their attendance wasn’t even in question… a pretty big difference.
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Closer to home, same-sex marriage has been legal since 2005 and anti-discrimination laws have been getting tweaked over the last year or so; “Sexual orientation” has already been added to the human rights act, and “Gender Identity” may be soon to follow. Eight years ago, a Toronto teenager named Marc Hall took the local Catholic school board to court for not allowing him to bring his boyfriend to the prom as his guest.
I haven’t heard any (big) controversy around any of the proms in the area, but does that mean everything’s fine here?… Not necessarily. Does having the permission to bring the date of your choosing mean you’ll be comfortable there?
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For a few years now, Gab Youth in Vancouver has been running Queer Prom at the end of the school year, the likes of which have been gaining popularity in cities across the country, probably because it’s just nice to go and feel comfortable, not just tolerated.
So what do you think it would take for LGBTQ students to feel comfortable at their school’s prom? Is it even possible, or do traditional proms belong in a different era?
There’s a club, if you’d like to go
You could meet someone who really loves you
So you go, and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home
And you cry
And you want to die
I wasn’t sure I wanted to put up that quote… it’s a little harsh, but it seemed apt for what I wanted to take on this week: Depression. Let’s start with what it is (and isn’t).
Depression covers a lot, frankly… it’s a low mood (one that often comes with feelings of hopelessness, sadness, emptiness, incompetence) and also lasts a long time, so you can probably see why it’s the most common mood disturbance around. The most important takeaway is that depressed people do get better and depression does end.
But figure we ALL get low moods every now and then, right? Maybe you just broke up with your bf/gf… maybe you’ve been feeling like you’re a failure because of your grades… maybe you haven’t been sleeping well and you just can’t seem to get the energy to do anything lately. If it’s only one of those things, you may feel sad but your low mood will probably go away in a week or two, especially if you start seeing someone new, or ace your next exam, or finally get a good night’s sleep. Having people to talk to about your feelings often helps too.
So what if it doesn’t go away?… what if weeks go by and you still can’t get out of this rut? You might notice other changes too: No appetite (or maybe you’re eating like crazy!)… insomnia (or sleeping 16+ hours a day!)… constantly feeling worthless, guilty, tired, empty, unmotivated or even suicidal. That might mean it’s not just a low mood, but it could be depression, and it might be an idea to check in with a health professional about it.
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If the depression is on the milder side, you can try:
Talking to family and trusted friends about what you’ve been going through can be helpful. You can get a chance to vent, maybe work out some potential solutions or even just get that hug that you’ve been needing.
Writing about what you’ve been going through can help you get a better grip on your thoughts and feelings, especially if they’ve all seemed pretty jumbled lately.
Checking in with a health professional (a doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, mental health counsellor/nurse), as we mentioned before, can help clear the air on how serious things are for you. They may be able to provide other options and solutions as well! Though antidepressant medication can sometimes be helpful in overcoming mild depression, you may be surprised to hear that for most adolescents, the answer doesn’t necessarily lie there.
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If the depression is getting on the major side, you could think about:
Definitely checking in with a family physician, psychologist or psychiatrist. Major depression is serious business, but the sooner you can start getting help, usually the more effective treatment will be.
Therapy or counselling might be an option for you as well. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a “talking” therapy that teaches new skills for acting and thinking more effectively… Recent research supports that it’s among the more effective approaches to depression.
For more serious cases of depression, antidepressent medication are often a little more helpful (than in milder cases) though they still aren’t quite shown to be as effective with adolescents as they are with adults. This is something you should talk over with your doctor.
As with mild depression, talking to friends & family as well as talking out your thoughts and feelings can still be quite helpful.
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This week’s entry was heavily inspired by (by which I mean plagiarized from) “Dealing With Depression: Antidepressant Skills for Teens“, put out by the Ministry of Child and Family Development. If you’d like to see the whole thing, it covers that plus what they call “Antidepressant skills”, like realistic thinking, problem solving and goal-setting. Check it out (in PDF format) here.
And as usual, if you feel like chatting and we’re open (noon to 1am every day!), click the CHAT NOW button on the top left. Let’s talk!
The day itself was intended as a both a demonstration for and a celebration of trade unions dating back about 140 years, the kinds of unions that lobbied the government for labour standards that established ideas like strikes and the 8-hour workday. Figure without this sort of movement in our history, you could be working 12-hour shifts at McDonalds for 25 cents an hour and no breaks.
Earlier this year, a teenager from Mississippi named Constance McMillen was barred from attending her high school prom with her girlfriend, and made headlines shortly after when the ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union) filed a lawsuit against the school on her behalf after they canceled the prom. This week, the
