Standing up to Bullying, Part I
Matty told Hatty about a thing she saw.
Had two big horns and a wooly jaw.
Wooly bully, wooly bully.
Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully.- Wooly Bully, by Sam The Sham
Perhaps one of the most challenging issues to address here has consistently been bullying. Even though many people seem to agree on what bullying is, what it is, who does it, why they do it and how to deal with it all have a huge range of possibilities. This week, we’ll kick off our series on bullying with a very short part I with What it looks like.
Generally what we’re talking about is negative actions with some intent to harm, either emotionally, physically or socially. Bullying either takes advantage of an imbalance of power (because they’re your boss, bigger, your elder, or get to decide things that you don’t) or tries to create one, by knocking you down a few notches. In plain English, bullying generally amounts to someone throwing their weight around:
— your boss tells you to go out with him or else he’ll make you mop every night
— the coach that makes you run extra laps “just for being such a pussy”
— the big kid at school that stuffs you in your locker every time he walks by
— the group of girls that floods your Facebook page every week with comments saying what a loser you are
— that guy in your circle of friends that likes to pin you down and twist your arm until you say that he’s awesome
— the back row of your Spanish class that coughs “slut” every time you speak
— the anonymous poster that verbally abuses you using Formspring questions
To be fair, you probably won’t go through your whole life and get along with everyone perfectly… but that doesn’t mean that bullying is a perfectly natural and wholesome thing to be happening without consequence. When we sit back and let bullying happen, we’re sorta saying that “this is okay” and that we think it’s okay for people to treat each other this way every day.
And there’s a big difference between something that happens all the time and it being okay.
Next week, we’ll take a look at what you can do if you’re a victim of bullying.
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Quick note: This Sunday, June 20th is Car Free Vancouver Day! Sad to say we’re not doing anything ourselves, but come out, show your support and meet your neighbours!
In case you’ve never seen it before, five neighbourhoods in Vancouver will close down big sections of their main streets to show us what a no-car city would look like. This year, North Vancouver (Lonsdale, 3rd to Esplanade) joins the party, along with Commercial Drive (Venebles to 1st Ave), West End (Denman), Kitslano and Main Street (16th to 33rd Ave).
At least two of our favs, LovE (Leave Out Violence) and YouthCO AIDS Society, will be at Main Street!
heyys I am getting bullied by this older kid in our school and I asked him to please not talk bout me behind my back and he said no he was going to keep talking about me behind my back
It mustn’t have been easy to work up the courage to tell him what you thought, but I bet that’s disappointing having him just blow it off like that. Are you figuring this is about as much as you can make him do? Is there anything to be done to maybe cut down how much trouble his rumours will cause, or maybe limit the damage with people whose opinion you care about most?
Hey I have been bullied numerous times and well it is not fun when you hear nasty rumours behind your back. Ive been there. Do not sink to the bully’s level it will make it worse. Be the bigger person as best you can be. It is an act that when they feel alone or have been hurt they take it out on someone else. There must be something that has been going on that they feel the need to take it out on you. Prove them wrong. Sweetie, theres going to be people like that in your life, just try to be the bigger person and know that you are not the person that they are talking about. Only you know the truth. Its not a great feeling to feel when someone is talking behind your back, it hurts. Especially from someone olde. Don’t let it get to you. Bye for now. Marissa.
Hi Marissa! Some really nice ideas in there to try and keep the situation from getting any worse. I can imagine that sometimes when a person’s feeling down because people are giving them such a hard time, encouraging words like yours can be really nice to hear, just knowing that someone like you might know how they feel and also have their back!
Thanks for commenting!
Hello to YouthinBC this is for Beth and Marrisa dont let these kids/teens get to you tha mo you get upset or sad they will make it worse for you and try to get you even weaker that they want you to do something that will end up that you dont want to end up doing? Dont let them get to you ignore those jealous haters this is all dat yall can actually do I know it aint simple I know I have a issue of standing tall even when teens or young adults try to target me in reality or in tha internet dont let these bully punks injure your soul yall are very beautiful with a beautiful heart if you let these oppresors get to you and your nerves you are only stooping into their level to make life even 10 to 20 times worser for yall stand tall with your head pointing to tha sky and if you believe in religion then pray prayer sometimes do help if you are in distress or find things that you enjoy so this way you wont pay any attention to whom is trying to bully you example: sports going to a movie with your close friends talking to people you are close to going for a walk and hanging out with positive people and not tha wrong crowd be strong and life will get a little easier to deal with with every passing minute and hour dont let people bully or take advantage of you hold your ground dont be afraid we have to have pity for those who have nothing good to do but to hurt peoples feelings and make them cry or to get upset or pissed off we have to have compassion about these people why they would do these things is because they to have personal issues at home or other people that they or their group would do everything in their power to make people strangers or people they know feel powerless dont let them take that advantage!!! Stay Fierce and stand your ground I know yall can take care Thx YouthinBC From Melody
Hey Melody! I liked what you had to say about sometimes someone will bully you b/c they’re trying to take advantage of what they see as weakness. And that’ll totally happen, for sure, though I’m sure there are people out there who might also take it as a challenge, step up and try to push you around even more… but sometimes, even though that’s obviously not ideal, it still feels pretty damn good to be able to say what you think or stand up for yourself, so in the end I guess you kinda just have to do what’s right for you, pick the battles that are right for you and see what happens, eh? Thanks to you too for contributing!
YIBC
bullying is bad