Standing up to Bullying, Part II
“As long as the mind is enslaved, the body can never be free.”
- Martin Luther King Jr.
Last week, we took a shot at talking about bullying, what it looks like and how broad that is. Despite the wide variety of situations it can cover, hopefully we’ll be able to nail down the most important things to think about in talking about what you can do about it if you’re being bullied.
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When someone treats you like that, I think it’s pretty easy to feel small and powerless. Some people might respond by running away, hiding themselves away and being too embarrassed to talk to anyone… Others might respond with anger, lash out at others – even those who don’t deserve it – or simmer in rage. If you were ganged up on or if no one stood up for you, that can leave you feeling pretty alone as well.
Probably the most common feeling, though, is “Why me?” You might be starting to feel like you deserve it or that there must be something wrong with you that people are doing this to you, but it’s really not that simple. Part of what makes bullying so agonizing is that it’s imposed on you and while the bully might have thought you were a good target, that doesn’t mean that you are the problem. We’ll talk a little about being a harder target as we continue, but that’s not about being a “bad” or “good” person.
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Caring for your body is a good first step. If you can, remove yourself from the situation. Walk away, avoid them, block/ignore them (online or on the phone), try not to be caught alone. This is especially important if they’re violent, so think of what you might need to do to avoid being hurt, think of what you can do if you’re being hurt, and think about who you’d like to tell if it gets worse. Thinking of safety plans like that is something you can talk out with people you trust! Caring for your body may also mean keeping your cool and not getting physical; If thousands of years of history has taught us anything, it’s that violence leads to more violence, and it’s hard to know what a bully will do if you lash out.
Caring for your heart and mind is important too. Consider talking to someone you trust, so that you’re able to express what you’re going through. Feeling like the world is against you can be a pretty crushing weight, and talking, making sure you take time to have fun and seeking out friends and support can all be soothing for your heart. If you feel like you’ve tried everything and you can’t stop them, try thinking about ways to make YOU feel your best; Exercise, new clubs or activities, learning new things are not only ways to lift your mood, but also build your confidence.
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Want to talk about it more? Chat 1-on-1 with a volunteer if we’re open! (check the top-right corner of the page)
For now, we’ll give the subject a break then come back in a few weeks with Cyberbullying.
