Standing up to Bullying, Part III: Cyberbullying
“Kids got bullied, picked on and teased
But somehow we found our place in the scheme of things
And time heals everything, almost everything
When I look back on the things I’ve done
Some good, some bad, and I’m really sorry if I hurt anyone
Yeah, I’m really sorry if I hurt anyone.”- Nobody Died, by the Wilkinsons
(click here for part I)
(click here for part II)
It’s been 5 weeks, but we’re back to talk about bullying… and being the suckers for punishment that we are, we promised an entry on the fairly complicated topic of cyberbullying for this time.
Cyberbullying refers to the use of the email, instant messaging, cell phones or other internet or digital media to send messages, images, video with the intention of hurting or embarrassing their target. This could be:
— Threatening messages (“Ima kick your ass at school tomorrow”)
— Joining an online game and playing in a way whose sole purpose is ruining the target’s fun (griefing)
— Creating insulting, sexual, fabricated or abusive web sites, Facebook groups or similar material
— Posting embarrassing or digitally altered video, images, rumours, either on forums, Myspace pages or other public sites
— Sending a ton of (usually insulting or threatening) messages by text, email or IM (spamming or flooding)
— Creating fake profiles for someone on Facebook, Myspace, etc. with the intention of impersonating and embarrassing them
image courtesy of Penny Arcade
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Part of what makes cyberbullying complicated is that it’s simply a different world than a classroom or even the street. For one, people can remain largely anonymous. This can make it really hard to tell how many different people are actually doing it; Those five different commenters on your Myspace page may be the same person posting on five different accounts. It also makes it easier to hide and avoid consequences.
For two, the internet is largely unsupervised. In schools, there are authority figures (teachers, principals) that may be able to see to it that the bullying stops. In the outside world, the police can step in to handle harassment, threats and assaults. On-line, not all sites have admins that will step in, and certainly there’s no global “Cyber Police” that would be able to handle abuse that would cross over from one site to another.
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So what can you do? Some of the same base ideas as rl bulling apply:
- For sites that do have supervision, you report abusive users, posts or messages. Facebook and Myspace both have entire sections of their help section devoted to reporting abuse and cyberbullying, as well as having tips about web site functions that can help you prevent it. Look in the web site’s “help” or “support” sections to find their reporting procedures.
- While you probably want to delete any abusive public messages (from your Wall, for instance), keep private messages or texts if you think they may help prove your case to police or other authorities later on. Learn how to take screenshots on your computer and save them to a safe place.
Ah but the internet allows you a few things that are hard to do in person:
- Some web sites, email accounts and IM services will give you the ability to block or filter messages or posts from specific users, from all anonymous users or from users not on your friends list.
- Unlike the real world, it’s fairly easy to change your ID, nickname, profile or username on-line; If you can’t change the name, it’s possible to open a new account and start fresh.
Don’t forget to check the other articles we’ve written on bullying for tips that might apply to cyberbullying as well! We’re not all internet security experts here on YIBC, but if you’d like to be able to talk out what you’re going through with one of our volunteers, check the top-right corner for the CHAT NOW button, every day between noon and 1pm Pacific time.
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Links:
- Beatbullying.org, based in the UK, runs a program called CyberMentors. They have a site with tons of information on cyberbullying, as well as a live chat. They also have a YouTube channel.
- The BBC (also in the UK) has carved out a space on their site for a show called Bullyproof, which might be worth a look. It features a lot of contributions from celebrities from across the pond.
- Read EVERYBODY PANIC, our short blog entry on internet safety
Thank you for your definition of cyber-bullying.
This could be: ? Threatening messages (?Ima kick your ass at school tomorrow?)
This is exactly what lead my son to an altercation at school resulting in him being suspended, not the bully. The bully has had a whole week to gloat about how far he managed to push my son. Now, we have to figure out where to go from here.
Hi Mandy. That must be so maddening to see, feeling like justice was never really served. I guess the other boy was taunting your son with messages like these and, ultimately, your son did something back (presumably at school?) that got him suspended… but the bully was never punished for the taunting. Are you hoping that the bully will be punished at school for what he said online to at least even things out, or are you thinking about how you can help improve things for your son so that he’s less stressed by this pressure? (or maybe both, I suppose!)
Why do people tend to cyber bullying to threaten hurt or harm others. It is supposed to be a friendly site to go find new friends keep tha old ones from our pasts and find friends or family on networking sites. I am guessing there are alot of kids teens and young adults whom got too much time in their hands and so they think it is funny to make people feel afraid otherwise make them feel bad for themselves and to feel sorry for being alive that they will do things to make themselves look good yet they dont really realise what they are doing is wrong and it is a cyber crime to make somebody lesser than they already are..People out there maybe been pressured to do this from their own peers just to fit in..If they are going to do this to their own friends they aint worth hanging out or keeping in contact or being intouch we are supposed to get along yet there are people whom are old fashion and dont care it is emotional abuse to hurt harm or threaten people we got too much hatred in this country in canada and tha states I wish it can be stopped all we can do is ignore them and to not let them have tha challenge to make us feel worthless..it is not a caring loving community yet we have to live one day a time..People and life can be cruel yet it is how life is in tha 21 century. In reality people get bullied teased hurted feelings and otherwise threatened for dump foolish reasons that kids and teenagers or adults injure themselves and have their families cry due to their grievances and loses due to senseless acts of stupidity of bullies why cant we all jus get along with eachother instead of being against one another plain and simple it is peoples ignorance and dumb way of thinking..Basically they are not thinking and wishing they would realise that is why we have stop anti bullying it is because our world that we now currently live in are messed and sorry for my slang cuss words fucking stupid they dont know any better or they have family issues at home they dont know how to express it or they have friends who think it is fun to bully people which I think is very uncool people who do these things are not cool yet I feel very sorry for these kids who’s parents have to try to discipline their kids not to do this and to change their attitude I wish we can get along..I been there yet I am still standing strong It is tough when people outside world even in tha inet world treat people with no respect.
[PT2]Cont’d I know how it feels like to get bullied in tha inet/cyber world as well in general in reality..I have afew websites I am in only to find my friends and as well find new ones and most of my real dad side of his family..People can be so harshly cruel with their mean words that they do say not only to me but to alot of people I live in BC wont say were though I like to keep it confidental. I sometimes fear that people in tha outside world are prejudging me and talking sorry (shit about me behind my back or laughing) their words scar and they say words dont hurt..well most of us wont show it because it makes tha bulliers mo aggressive and will do anything to get a kick out of bullying..tha mo we show that we are weak and take everything they say seriously it will make life much worse for most of us. I think tha better and best way of outbeating tha bullies are only just to ignore them..My bfs told me they are only targeting me because I am weak if I act stronger they cant get to me no matter how many times they tried to kick me to tha curb or say things to make me feel sorry for myself or laugh behind my back I do my best to ignore and have my head up high like I dont give a damn
Hey Melody! Nice idea you had to just be careful about what kind of info is on your profile, so that people can’t “follow you home” online. You’re totally right, though, it’s complicated to know how to solve all of these kinds of things b/c it’s really hard to know why bullies would do what they would do and, in the end, you can’t actually control what they do… tough one. Thanks for sharing, though, it’s cool to have you sharing your story.
YIBC