How do I stop self-harming?
Well that’s an awfully big question, isn’t it.
The short answer is that “it’s complicated.”
The long answer is that different things work for different people, and it’s not always a perfect sequence of stages. But here are some things you can think about that may help you through the process:
.
Give some thought to why you started to self-harm and what it does for you now. Maybe you know why you started doing it, maybe you don’t. But if you do, that may give you a sense of what it is you need to work on and what kind of help you may need.
Talk to someone about it. It may be easier if you choose someone you already trust, but some people find that opening up anonymously to a chat service like ours or a peer support forum helps them build the confidence they need to talk about it to people face-to-face. If you feel that you’re not being listened to or that you’re being judged, don’t give up and try someone else if you need to! There’s also your doctor, school counsellor or other supportive professionals you can turn to.
Find alternatives to or distractions from self-harming. Build a list of things to do when you have the urge to self-harm. Some people find they need to develop entirely different ways of coping with their triggers, whether they’re emotions, events or states of mind; Others find that the hesitation of being distracted is enough of a moment to decide “No, not this time”. We’re building a list of distractions that you can see on the right.
Hang in there. Wow, I’m so inspiring. The point is that it probably won’t be easy. Be gentle with yourself if you find you can’t stop all at once. If one approach doesn’t work, try another - there are tons of different ways to stop self-harming. You may have relapses, even after long breaks from self-harming, don’t get discouraged… you did all that time without self-harming and nothing can take that away from you.
Take care of your injuries. Regardless of how they happened, your injuries deserve to be cared for. Learn to clean and dress your wounds. If you think you may have an infection or other serious damage, go see a doctor right away. If a cut won’t stop bleeding or you feel like something unusual may be wrong (”Why does my head hurt so much?”… “Why can’t I feel this finger?”), don’t be afraid to call an ambulance… It may save your life.