What Can I Do For Myself?
Abuse is not your fault. No matter the grades you get or the way you win/lose at sports or even if you forget to do your chores – nothing you do or say gives anyone the right to abuse you.
Tell someone
If you are being abused tell someone! It can be hard and is often scary to ‘come out of the abuse closet’ but it’s an important step along the path of making the abuse stop. Find an adult you can trust. He/she can be a teacher or coach or parent or friend’s parent, older sibling, doctor, guidance counselor or even a volunteer at YouthInBC.com or worker at the Helpline for Children (310-1234).
The adult has a responsibility to act
The adult you tell has a responsibility to report the abuse to either the police or a social worker. If at first no one believes you, then keep telling. Find another person you can trust and tell them. Whatever you do, don’t give up because someone will help.
The next step – talking to the social worker
Once you’ve reported abuse at home, usually a social worker will come to see you to get the full story. A social worker is someone whose job is to improve society as a whole and work towards protecting the welfare of children. Your meeting with the social worker will happen in a place where you feel safe – you set the terms.
Be prepared to answer questions. In order to help you, the social worker will need as much information as possible. If you don’t have the answers, that’s okay too. If it’s hard to answer, tell them… they may be able to give you more time and will tell you if it’s super important to know right away. Then the social worker may talk to other people like teachers or family members. Then they will decide the next steps to take. Remember you have a right to feel safe, to be cared for and to never ever be hurt by anyone!
It’s okay to be scared
Once you have made the important decision to talk to a social worker, you may feel very alone. The list below describes some of the activities that will help you get through this difficult time:
- Stay in touch with friends and stay involved in the activities you enjoy
- Tell your family what is happening, ask them to screen phone calls and visitors
- Try not to be alone. Tell your friends what is happening. Ask them to walk to classes with you and to spend time with you at lunch
- Always carry a phone or extra change, so you can call for help if you need it.
- Make a list of phone numbers including 911, the crisis centre/youthinbc.com’s number (1-866-661-3311) and friends that you can call on when you’re upset
- Trust your instincts. If you feel you’re in danger, get help immediately
- Anytime you go out, let other people know when and where you are going
- When you break up with your partner, do it in a public place, and let your friends know when and where you’ll be.
